Now, I may not be able to afford a star ship either, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t have at least one of these Star Trek uniform onesies by the time Halloween comes around. Clicking the Star Trek onesie graphic below will take you to ThinkGeek where these can be purchased.

What I find particularly hilarious about these (excepting the gray one, I’m not interested in that one) is that they include a red shirt onesie. Moreover, if you click the shirt graphic above through to ThinkGeek you’ll see that (at least right now) they have stock for everything except red shirt size 18 month and red shirt size 12 months. For those of you not familiar with Star Trek, or who promptly leave the room when your significant other turns on TOS (the original series) the red shirt is some unknown officer (wearing a red shirt) unfortunate enough to be on the bridge when the captain decides to beam an away team down to an unknown planet. Rather than faking sickness he promptly beams down with them and is killed, never to be seen again.

Again… the only items sold out at present are red shirt onesies… which someone has purchased for a child somewhere. I’m going to assume that these purchases weren’t made by parents, but rather by apartment dwellers who share walls with newborns and want to make a statement without risking legal repercussions.

Stuffed Animals
Don’t buy these. Other people will at a rate that you’ll find quite shocking. There is one exception to this recommendation. Many of the stuffed toys you’ll receive will be… well… your typical stuffed animal while there are actually some pretty fun and interesting plush toy options available these days. As such I’m actually planning to purchase one (1) plush toy for Jr despite the herd already taking up space in our bedroom. Despite my well known penchant for UglyDolls I have my eye on a little beast from Monster Factory.

Clothes, in particular onesies
Again, you’ll get a ton of these from folks after the birth, and during the various baby showers that are bound to be scheduled. The number isn’t the issue, in fact you’ll want as many of these as you can get your hands on since your baby will be burping, peeing and pooing all over them with abandon. The issue is that they appear to size these things very optimistically. I suppose it could lead to more sales, but man… at 7 weeks Jr fits comfortably in 3 to 6 month onesies and can’t extend his legs when squeezed into 0 to 3 month outfits. Don’t believe the tags, ask people to buy reasonably rather than for cuteness and unless your kid’s a preemie make a point of returning your 0 to 3 in exchange for something that will fit.

Burp cloths and swaddling blankets
We got a lot of these. We need a lot of these. You will need a lot of these too. If someone offers, take them cause you’ll need them.

Diapers and wipes
If they’re not on the boob taking milk in, they’re preparing to expel it from all orifices in quantities that will blow your mind. Again… you’ll never have enough. Stash piles of them everywhere… in your diaper bag, the stroller, your car, every room in the house. One of the best tips I got shortly after Jr arrived was that when preparing to change, lay him on the new diaper before you take the old one off. Further, when you undo the first diaper, use the front of the diaper itself to perform the initial poo wipe to trap the bulk of the solid matter in the old diaper. Then use wipes to get the rest while cautiously guarding against pee in the face. Once wiped, roll up the wipes and the old diaper and throw them in the garbage (one can in every major change room) then quickly do up the new diaper which is already positioned under his butt, which by this time is probably read to fill it. Placement of diaper #2 and use of #1 for wiping are both key. Thank me later.

Anyway, a few tips to guide accumulation where it will be needed and avoid it where it won’t. Good luck!

Get the hangover tshirt at nerdyshirts

Just a quick post to clear out some of the bookmarks and starred items I’ve gathered from various places over the past couple weeks. Apologies if you’ve already seen some of these!

Colors, colors everywhere. There were a few posts recently that featured very bold colors on both clothes and room decor recently. First up, a line of children’s clothing called Polka that was featured over at Junior Society. Sure the colors may give you headaches in time, but man, at least you know you won’t lose your son/daughter in a crowd!

The second example comes from OhDeeDo with one of their nursery tours, in this case a room with an incredible chocolate brown wall accented with a “dot mural” growing out of, and accenting one of the great furniture pieces they’ve selected. I’m not sure if those are decals or what, but the contrast between the dots and the chocolate brown paint is fantastic.

Not only that, but if you’re shopping online rather than in person the discount will be applied to your card (see the fine print on the banner). PLUS, free shipping on purchases over $100 and something about GymBucks if you’re registered for them.

Found over at Slickdeals.net

Ok, so the ‘All your base are belong to us’ meme is totally played out… but for whatever reason it still cracks me up in most of its incarnations.

Etsy seller Teedious offers this very simple ‘All your milk are belong to us’ onesie that may have jumped the shark, but will still manage to get a chuckle out of a subset of your friends.

Consider it a baby warming nerd detector.

Others?
I’m living proof my mom puts out
The dog did it
n00b
Life is too short for naps
Impeach Baltar

Lily’s Mama had better watch herself cause kisses or wipes my booty without permission. That said… these outfits cracked me up… and if you’re wearin a onesie these activities may be more appropriate.

Arrgh… Wipe Me Booty

Arrgh… Kiss Me Booty

Back to Etsy again, and this time to a seller with an odd theme – the uterus. This post is decidedly female-focused, though I guess a guy could wear a uterus. It’d just be a bit weird.

Harveyandeileen are currently selling a Pink Uterus Onesie as a souvenir of where your little miracle came from, and kind enough to depict that location before the little gem had her way with it.

Also on offer are Uterus Undies, Uterus Cards and Uterus gift certificates.

Something tells me these classic duds by Bonpoint don’t come cheap.

I think my kid will roll like Buckwheat rather than high fashion Spanky.