Hey, This Is Great… I Think… Actually WTF, This Is Lame…

Children will love this colouring book about... wait... lousy animals. Man. Kids might think this sucks.

I think I’m losing the ability distinguish between cool finds online and weird crap randomly posted. Case in point? When I first saw this strangely simple child’s colouring book of admittedly “lousy” animals I reacted with “Ha! That’s kind of cool…” but it slowly transitioned into “What the hell… why would I bookmark that?”

Don’t give me that look. I know you’re struggling with the same thing right now.

Props to Swissmiss for feeding me this and letting me know I’m spending too much time online.

Time For Another Video Post. Monster Minivan

You can pimp your baby hauler all you want... its still gonna suck.

How many times have you heard guys say “I’d never be caught dead driving a minivan?” We all know what happens when they have their first kid… the door goes from swinging open to sliding back when the Caravan pulls into the driveway.

If this video is any indication, you need no longer fear the child wagon. This guy installed a 1,000 horsepower helicopter engine in a 1990’s Dodge Caravan. His insanity MAY lessen the embarrassment for former street racing fathers everywhere. For the rest of us… well, we’ll just pretend we didn’t see the video.

Anyone who’d do this to their minivan should have their head examined… and anyone who’d use it as a baby hauler should be locked up.

The Blog Wee Made

Masterpieces by children for the world

Here’s a fun idea for a blog. Allow parents and kids to submit drawings by children for posting. Simple as that. Each image is followed by a title, the artist’s name and age, and the poster’s name as well as a brief explanation of what was going through the kid’s head when it was created.

I haven’t had time to dig very deep into the site, but based on a quick review of the first couple pages my favourite is “Fish in heels farting, pooping, peeing and carrying a gift of farts.” by Sadie. Nice work Sadie :)

Posted in art

Triops? Say What?

Triops. Creepy little monsters for your creepy little monster... I mean, lovely little child.

It was only a matter of time before I posted wildlife to the site… every child deserves a disgusting beast or two along the way. In this case its Triops… which to be honest I know very little about. Wikipedia has this to say:

“Members of the order Notostraca (colloquially referred to as notostracans, called Triops, tadpole shrimp or shield shrimp) are small crustaceans in the class Branchiopoda. Triops have two internal compound eyes and one naupliar eye in-between, a flattened carapace covering its head and leg-bearing segments of the body.”

Ok, right.

Anyway, one of my coworkers’ kids love these things. I have to admit they do look interesting, but I’m not sure how I’d feel about giving them to my kids. Given the minimal cost it might be the way to go as a first step toward a kitten or puppy. The Triops die, baby’s puppy time line pushes out by a year. Sound reasonable?

Deluxe Triops kit at ThinkGeek
Triops on eBay

Shameless Child Promotion

Rattle-N-Roll. Make sure your lovely little baby makes the best spot on the fridge. Front and center.

We’ve all received those boring new baby announcements in the mail, or Little Gary Graduated Public School alerts. If you’re going to take the time to address the envelopes and mail the things out you may as well be sure the recipients will remember them… at least for a minute or two before throwing them out.

Rattle-N-Roll promises to keep you child’s mug displayed prominently for many weeks to come as their announcement is given a cherished position on the recipient’s refrigerator.

Rock-N-Roll designs your child into a music poster-esque masterpiece for delivery to friends and relatives. Want an Obey Giant Propaganda theme? I suspect they could pull it off. Personally, I think I’d request something more along the lines of a birth announcement with a Chinese Communist propaganda theme.

Welcome to the real world baby.

You Have Your Sigg… They Have Their?

Safesippy. I have my shiny stainless steel Sigg and baby will have his own... although likely cooler than mine... crap.

SafeSippy cups look to be Baby’s answer to those overpriced Sigg water bottles everyone’s toting around these days. Nicely designed, interesting colour combinations and apparently well built, these non-toxic drinking cups claim the following:

“From the clean, non-leaching stainless steel cup to the unique safety features to the plastics free of Bisphenol A and other harmful chemicals, The Safe Sippy™ cup was created to accomplish one simple goal: Clean In, Clean Out.”

Best of all it looks to be reasonably priced at about $18. Reasonably priced compared to the Sigg bottle that is.

FYI, I’ve just been made aware that Sigg offers children’s cups as well at a price comparable to the Safesippy. Meh.

Music For The Kids – Rockabye Baby

Rockabye Baby series of albums for your children, mimicking your favourites
This series was just brought to my attention today by a friend at work. The Rockabye Baby series consists of albums with keyboard and bell versions of music we’re all familiar with. The thing is, this is not the familiarity that you’d expect.

Sample artists include (among others):
Bob Marley (my personal favourite)
Radiohead
Nirvana
Tool (eek)
Led Zeppelin

Holy crap, listen to “Sober” on the Tool CD… terrifying. I thought the original was creepy, but the ‘kids’ version would have me curled up in a ball in the corner.

While identifying some of the tracks is a bit difficult, there are some genuinely entertaining items here… in particular the Bob Marley versions seem like options I’d play for my child.

Give them a listen – Amazon allows you to preview the tracks for each of the albums above. I’m going to load up on the Marley disc for future unforeseen gifting needs.

Oak Music Sphere – Not Your Father’s Music Box

Say no to music boxes. Say yes to wooden oak music orbs.

I’m definitely not a fan of music boxes… I find them terribly creepy. Blame my parents, horror movies, whoever, but the fact is I can’t be in the room with one.

Strange then that I don’t find this wooden music orb off-putting at all. Made of high quality oak, this “music orb” available from the Moma Store this little ball plays an 18 note chime from Mozart’s The Marriage of Figaro.

The only downside? My immediate desire upon seeing this thing was to pick it up and throw it as far as possible. Prepare to replace some windows.

Want.